Well, he sure did have something to tell me but he didn't. He didn't tell me for quite awhile. Standing on our driveway my mom asked if they wanted to come inside. John and his dad said yes and inside we went. We went in my house in what felt like slow motion. I remember still being shocked that John was really there, in my house.
So, we went inside and downstairs. John and his dad sat on one couch and we sat on the other. My friend and my mom were still there and I remember how they were staring at John and I. It made me nervous and John's face was bright red so I know he was nervous, too. Poor guy, he had no idea what was about to happen. All the awkward staring at each other led to my friend suggesting we all go get something to eat. So we went to Chipotle. We ordered, sat down together, everyone was making small talk, but it was tense. At the time I couldn't have known why he was so weird, but I was about to find out.
We got done eating and headed outside. We were going to say our goodbye's when I asked John if something was wrong. He said no a few times but I knew better. He was not happy-go-lucky John anymore. He was acting strange and quiet. So, I left it at that. We didn't know each other anyway and I thought I really wouldn't care if we never talked again. So, we said goodbye.
My mom and I went home and I was genuinely sad. Very, very sad. I couldn't get over seeing him, and hugging him. I couldn't get over how uncomfortable he was and how tense we all were. So, I did something about it. He and his dad were going to stay at a local hotel for the night before heading off to BYU Idaho the next morning. John had said what hotel it was, so I knew I had to call him. That alone, is so out of character for me. I am, unfortunately, very proud, and sometimes not humble enough. For me to call him, took a lot. But I could physically not stop myself from doing so. And now I know that's what changed everything. I'm glad it did.
I knew what hotel he was at so I looked it up in the yellow pages. It took but one minute to call and have him on the phone. We said hello, and even though he seemed surprised to hear from me, he also seemed relieved. I explained how I had to know what was on his mind. Why had he stopped by just to act weird and uncomfortable? He said he had stopped by because he wanted to tell me in person that he was dating someone. When he said that, I almost fell off my chair. I was completely shocked at how that one sentence made me feel. I should have not cared. We had just written letters, it was nothing more. Just that nagging feeling I had. But you can't live your life by some nagging feeling, right?
Well, I asked him what he meant by dating someone, as if I didn't already know what that meant. He told me he had gotten home, called me multiple times, and talked to his parents about coming out to visit me. His parents did not dig that idea. They did not dig it at all. I don't blame them. They didn't know me and they knew that John didn't even really know me. He had just gotten home and wanted to leave immediately. As a mom, I would've protested against it too.
But, there was this girl. They liked this girl. They knew this girl and her family. She was a nice girl. They reminded John of this girl. He got together with this girl, and I guess they hit off. The timeline of when he got off his mission and when he came to see me, says they dated for about a week. She must be awesome because he liked her. In one week, he liked her. He wanted to tell me in person about her. Even though he and I didn't have anything going on, he had that feeling that something was there too. I guess he just needed to clear the air. He set off to do that when he came to my house.
But then he saw me, and he choked. He couldn't tell me. Not while looking at me, anyway. He told me about this girl on the phone. He told me that he really liked her. He told me his parents really liked her. I. was. floored. And at first I was sad and confused, but real quick I got angry. I got really angry when he suggested dating both of us. He said, that when he laid eyes on me, he couldn't deny what he felt. But he couldn't hurt this other girl's feelings either.
So, he came up with a plan, dating both of us. After laughing hysterically on the phone, I told him he was crazy! I told him that dating multiple people may be the norm but not when you dated me. If he wanted to date this other girl, than by golly have at it, but he was not going to even talk to me. I was not going to be on a stupid waiting list. So, after trying to explain his feelings to me, I told him to stop. Nothing he said was going to convince me to agree for him to date me and someone else at the same time. Ever. So I told him that I hoped the Earth would open up and swallow him, because I never wanted to see or talk to him again. Those exact words are, unfortunately, what I said.
To this day, I don't know why it felt like he was breaking up with me. It was the first time that we had spoken about our feelings to one another, but it felt right to be so angry at him. And it obviously felt right to him, too. So that was that, I hung up the phone, and didn't hear from him again.
Three weeks later, I'm still really sad. I honestly, can't believe how sad I was. I, for sure, thought I would have just rolled it off my shoulders. But I was truly really disappointed. I wanted to hug John again, I wanted to hear his voice on the phone, I wanted to know what holding his hand felt like. I missed him. But I had told him to get swallowed up by the Earth, remember? And I was 100% sure that I would never hear from him again. Why would he call me? I sounded crazy on the phone. But I guess he likes crazy, because late one night, my phone rang, and I heard his voice. "Hi Bonnie, it's me, John. Don't hang up." I didn't hang up. I heard what he had to say, and it was that he was no longer dating anyone, and wanted to date me.
Um, I was not understanding. Forgive me for not jumping up and down in excitement, but what am I, second fiddle. No, I'm not. So I made it hard for him. I wanted to hear every single detail of what happened with this girl, when it happened, how it happened, everything. And he spilled his guts. But all of a sudden, everything made sense. I accepted his apology for kind of dumping me, he accepted mine for kind of being verbally insane.
And we lived happily ever...oh, one more thing. Rumor is, I stole him away. Let it be known, that no, I didn't. He came to me free as a bird.